The Joy of One

Boy did I get lucky this weekend.  My 8 year old son spent the weekend away with a friend and we only had the 5 year old.  What a difference!  It was so easy!

My 5 year old was in heaven.  He was so calm, relaxed, talkative, fun-loving, and just plain cute.  We snuggled, played, he ate all his meals without a fuss, and I think he slept longer too.  Normally he’s a bit more difficult.  He gets into everything, demands his own way, follows me around (always seems to hang at the bathroom door), wakes up early on weekends (late during the week), and has at least one mega tantrum which involves knocking all the refrigerator magnets to the floor and throwing a few nearby items.  But not this weekend!  Well, not until his brother came back home.

And then the serenity was gone.  The second the Primo walked in the door, little Secundo, who was excited to see him, handed him a toy we bought at the grocery store.  Primo's had a Patriot’s logo on it, Secundo’s was Red Sox.  First thing Primo says is not “Thank you” but “I don’t like the Patriots” and he threw it on the floor.  Next Secundo went to give Primo the piece of candy we saved for him and that wasn’t good enough either.  Then Primo got made that he couldn’t watch Terminator 2 at that exact time.  And all within 10 minutes.  There are lots of reason he couldn’t watch T2, mainly that we don’t actually have it, but no need to elaborate here.  He stormed up to his bedroom and the three of us had no idea what just happened.  So, we went back to doing whatever it was we were doing and after a while he came back down.

Crazy dynamic.  I had always thought that Primo was the easier of the two boys but now I see that they’re both wonderful in their own way, it’s just when they’re together that parenting becomes so stressful.  Unfortunately, that’s the majority of my day.  But I’m on to something here.  I’m paying a shrink $25/week to figure out Secundo.  I already know he’ll be on an IEP this fall for speech so I don’t think I need to pay for a second opinion.   His manic tantrums and selfish behavior could be stemming from the classic need for attention.  Could it be so simple?

I’ll bring it up with the shrink.  In the meantime, I’ve seen a little light on the situation and will approach the chaos from a new perspective.  The easy solution would be to just get a bigger house.  For now, I’ll divide my time better between the two of them and with any luck have more weekend sleepovers.