and other things I tell the kids.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Christmas List
I'm terrified of Christmas this year. My son's list has turned into a book. It's quite impressive, really, but terrifying! So much to explain, all based on a lie. It's depressing me on so many points. Santa is a lie, I have no money, but even if I did I wouldn't buy it all. That's the intellectual side. For the philosophical side, there's the whole issue of junk toys, people in need, get over your 7 year old all-about-me ego, etc. The good news is the list got so big the pages came out of the staples so it's getting a bit tattered. I think he figured out what that means. But of course I don't want it ruined because it's a fun read. It started out with the Walmart catalog, which he must have instinctively known was coming out that day because we went out of our way on a Saturday to get a paper. He was so excited. So he had 5 pages of junk toys. Then other toy catalogs started to come in the mail. Even though I canceled everything last year, they came anyway. And of course he likes to check the mail everyday so he saw them first. With each catalog the list grew, but the items changed. Three "good" toy catalogs later, the Walmart items are down to just 2. I'm so proud of him! And what's even better is most of the toys are available right here in town on Main Street. Maybe I could barter for toys???
Monday, November 29, 2010
Snow!
There is nothing I love more than watching the boys play together in the back yard. It snowed on Friday morning and Calvin was so excited. After breakfast he got his snow stuff on and went to play. The Hulk caught on and followed suit. They went up and down the hill on sleds. The Hulk is a riot with his cast. Nothing is going to stop that boy. He even climbed up the rock wall with it.
Of course this lasted only about a 1/2 hour the first time around. Calvin hit the Hulk with a snowball that went down his back so he came in crying. By the end of the weekend, they got better at playing together and on Sunday Calvin was outside all day with his friend our neighbor and Hulk followed along for most of the day. As far as I know, no one got hit.
Of course this lasted only about a 1/2 hour the first time around. Calvin hit the Hulk with a snowball that went down his back so he came in crying. By the end of the weekend, they got better at playing together and on Sunday Calvin was outside all day with his friend our neighbor and Hulk followed along for most of the day. As far as I know, no one got hit.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Sibling Surprises
My son, the Hulk, who just turned 4, fell down the stairs the other morning and broke his wrist. This is his third major injury. Fortunately it wasn’t as bad as when he broke his arm after catapulting out of his crib two years before. One second he was happily bouncing in the crib and the next screaming on the floor. The last accident was when he and his brother, Calvin, were jumping on my bed and The Hulk “fell off and bumped his head,” as the Monkey story goes, and had to get staple stitches. Is it worse to watch your son roll down the stairs or to stand by as a staple gun shoots him in the head? Calvin, for the record, has not had any major injuries.
A Facebook post from NPR that same morning titled “Siblings Share Genes, But Rarely Personalities” got me thinking about how different my two boys are. The first clue is that Calvin took over 30 hours to deliver, lots of drugs, and a final C-section warning to leave my womb whereas The Hulk popped right out. Calvin was as colicky as can be for the first 6 months while The Hulk nursed his way through everything. It’s not that I expected them to be the same when I had my second son, but I am constantly amazed at their differences. (For the record, one thing they did have in common at birth is they both weighed over nine pounds.)
Perhaps because Calvin is the first born I paid more attention to his every move. Not to the point where I actually wrote them down in a baby book (good intentions), but just that I was so much more aware of each rite of passage. And of course I memorized the “What to Expect” books. I also had more time to spend with him early on so without realizing it he may have become a study in child rearing. We were blessed as well with excellent child care providers who supplied me with a ton of information and support. Because it all seemed so easy I decided I wanted another a second child.
Ha! It started out simply enough. I had everything I needed for my new guy with all the clothes, crib, baby gear, etc. I was also at this point an expert on nutrition, BPA, the dangers of lead, child care options, stages of growth, etc. But ever since that first broken arm I knew this boy was going to be more of a challenge. My “gentle giant” has wanted nothing but to be just like his big brother since the day he figured out he had one. He started walking early, could make his own peanut butter and jelly sandwich before he could say it, and has always been so big he looks older.
Calvin started speaking with full sentences. At the doctor’s checkup where they measure these things, he didn’t say a word until the end of the appointment and then totally shocked his pediatrician. I had no idea that his speech was so good because I didn’t have any frame of reference. So lucky me, one less thing to worry about. I secretly suspected that all the reading early on was showing some benefits. The Hulk on the other hand never really cared for books and couldn’t sit still at bedtime no matter what I tried, including buying new books that were more interactive to get him interested. His speech is fine now, but not anywhere near where Calvin’s was at his age and not quite where one would expect him to be given his size and fine and gross motor skills.
With Calvin, it took a few good people to get him up to par by second grade. With the Hulk, it seems to be taking a village. When Calvin was of age to enter Kindergarten he went to the SAU Development Screening and passed without much thought. I probably should have held him back since he’s one of the youngest in the class, but it hadn’t occurred to me at the time and he’s doing fine now. With the Hulk, I’ve met with the SAU Pre-school screening team early on just to be sure we’re okay. He’s so much different in his development I don’t want to take any chances. While it’s a little disconcerting to sit down with nine professionals at once to go over the needs of a 3 year old, it’s also reassuring to know that help is available when needed. What an amazing group of people to have access to. And if it weren’t for the caring staff at the preschools he’s been to, I wouldn’t have know this resource is available at any time.
Calvin has always been, overall, a well-behaved child. A little silly, big imagination, but peace loving for the most part. The Hulk, on the other hand, has a bit of a reputation. He hits. Because of his size his punch carries more weight than the average 3 year old. It’s not that he’s a bully - I think he too is a peace loving child, but he comes across as a little more aggressive and it’s quite troubling! With Calvin’s mishaps I’ve been able to nip the problem in the bud and move on. With the Hulk, it’s just not working that way. At times I feel I’ve been “blessed” with more Zen moments as I can handle.
The NPR article asks the question “Why is it that being raised in the same family pushes children in opposite directions in terms of personality?” and came up with three theories: Divergence, Environment, and Exaggeration. “Divergence is basically to minimize competition so it's not direct. And that leads to specialization in different niches." In my case, Calvin is the thinker, the Hulk is the doer. I see Calvin as an engineer and the Hulk more of an athlete. The second theory, environment, deals with the timing of the child. In Calvin and and the Hulk’s case, they were born in different towns and my husband and I had different jobs. Exaggeration, the third theory, “holds that families are essentially comparison machines that greatly exaggerate even minor differences between siblings.” An example of this is as I’ve stated before is that both boys are “peace loving,” but the Hulk has earned his nickname.
This Thanksgiving, in case there was any question, I am grateful that I have two wonderful boys who have enriched my life more than I will ever know. And as I watch them eat turkey at the table for the two minutes they’ll sit down, I will remind myself to accept them for who they are and hope they keep surprising me.
A Facebook post from NPR that same morning titled “Siblings Share Genes, But Rarely Personalities” got me thinking about how different my two boys are. The first clue is that Calvin took over 30 hours to deliver, lots of drugs, and a final C-section warning to leave my womb whereas The Hulk popped right out. Calvin was as colicky as can be for the first 6 months while The Hulk nursed his way through everything. It’s not that I expected them to be the same when I had my second son, but I am constantly amazed at their differences. (For the record, one thing they did have in common at birth is they both weighed over nine pounds.)
Perhaps because Calvin is the first born I paid more attention to his every move. Not to the point where I actually wrote them down in a baby book (good intentions), but just that I was so much more aware of each rite of passage. And of course I memorized the “What to Expect” books. I also had more time to spend with him early on so without realizing it he may have become a study in child rearing. We were blessed as well with excellent child care providers who supplied me with a ton of information and support. Because it all seemed so easy I decided I wanted another a second child.
Ha! It started out simply enough. I had everything I needed for my new guy with all the clothes, crib, baby gear, etc. I was also at this point an expert on nutrition, BPA, the dangers of lead, child care options, stages of growth, etc. But ever since that first broken arm I knew this boy was going to be more of a challenge. My “gentle giant” has wanted nothing but to be just like his big brother since the day he figured out he had one. He started walking early, could make his own peanut butter and jelly sandwich before he could say it, and has always been so big he looks older.
Calvin started speaking with full sentences. At the doctor’s checkup where they measure these things, he didn’t say a word until the end of the appointment and then totally shocked his pediatrician. I had no idea that his speech was so good because I didn’t have any frame of reference. So lucky me, one less thing to worry about. I secretly suspected that all the reading early on was showing some benefits. The Hulk on the other hand never really cared for books and couldn’t sit still at bedtime no matter what I tried, including buying new books that were more interactive to get him interested. His speech is fine now, but not anywhere near where Calvin’s was at his age and not quite where one would expect him to be given his size and fine and gross motor skills.
With Calvin, it took a few good people to get him up to par by second grade. With the Hulk, it seems to be taking a village. When Calvin was of age to enter Kindergarten he went to the SAU Development Screening and passed without much thought. I probably should have held him back since he’s one of the youngest in the class, but it hadn’t occurred to me at the time and he’s doing fine now. With the Hulk, I’ve met with the SAU Pre-school screening team early on just to be sure we’re okay. He’s so much different in his development I don’t want to take any chances. While it’s a little disconcerting to sit down with nine professionals at once to go over the needs of a 3 year old, it’s also reassuring to know that help is available when needed. What an amazing group of people to have access to. And if it weren’t for the caring staff at the preschools he’s been to, I wouldn’t have know this resource is available at any time.
Calvin has always been, overall, a well-behaved child. A little silly, big imagination, but peace loving for the most part. The Hulk, on the other hand, has a bit of a reputation. He hits. Because of his size his punch carries more weight than the average 3 year old. It’s not that he’s a bully - I think he too is a peace loving child, but he comes across as a little more aggressive and it’s quite troubling! With Calvin’s mishaps I’ve been able to nip the problem in the bud and move on. With the Hulk, it’s just not working that way. At times I feel I’ve been “blessed” with more Zen moments as I can handle.
The NPR article asks the question “Why is it that being raised in the same family pushes children in opposite directions in terms of personality?” and came up with three theories: Divergence, Environment, and Exaggeration. “Divergence is basically to minimize competition so it's not direct. And that leads to specialization in different niches." In my case, Calvin is the thinker, the Hulk is the doer. I see Calvin as an engineer and the Hulk more of an athlete. The second theory, environment, deals with the timing of the child. In Calvin and and the Hulk’s case, they were born in different towns and my husband and I had different jobs. Exaggeration, the third theory, “holds that families are essentially comparison machines that greatly exaggerate even minor differences between siblings.” An example of this is as I’ve stated before is that both boys are “peace loving,” but the Hulk has earned his nickname.
This Thanksgiving, in case there was any question, I am grateful that I have two wonderful boys who have enriched my life more than I will ever know. And as I watch them eat turkey at the table for the two minutes they’ll sit down, I will remind myself to accept them for who they are and hope they keep surprising me.
T-day
Survived. Not a big fan of the holidays. I'm starting to think it could just be me. My relatives are challenging so it's not at all fun to visit them, and otherwise there's just the four of us which can be a little too predictable.
Hate to be such a skeptic but it's a long day with watching the boys, cooking so much food that just ends up back in the frig, and bumping into my husband in the kitchen preparing it. Number one question: "Why are you doing it that way?" And then the clean up.
Next year I'll find someone fun to invite over. I'm starved for conversation.
Hate to be such a skeptic but it's a long day with watching the boys, cooking so much food that just ends up back in the frig, and bumping into my husband in the kitchen preparing it. Number one question: "Why are you doing it that way?" And then the clean up.
Next year I'll find someone fun to invite over. I'm starved for conversation.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Crazy Parties
The boys and I went to Tamworth today to pick up out 25# turkey. It's enormous. Calvin was barely able to carry it to the car. The boys kept asking where all the turkeys were at the turkey farm but I had to tell the truth. They've all been beheaded and we're going to it one on T-day.
On the way home we stopped at the Chocorua House to check on the status of the renters who should have been moved out by now. OMG. How can people live like that? There was clutter everywhere. Seriously, as if a tornado went through. At least none of the permanent fixtures was damaged. But I don't get it. How can any one allow so much clutter? And have so much junk? When we got back in the car I made the boys promise that they would never live like that and to obey the golden rule of "Leave things better than you found them." Calvin said okay, but asked if he could still have "crazy parties." "Of course," I said. "I'm counting on you for that. You just have to clean up after."
On the way home we stopped at the Chocorua House to check on the status of the renters who should have been moved out by now. OMG. How can people live like that? There was clutter everywhere. Seriously, as if a tornado went through. At least none of the permanent fixtures was damaged. But I don't get it. How can any one allow so much clutter? And have so much junk? When we got back in the car I made the boys promise that they would never live like that and to obey the golden rule of "Leave things better than you found them." Calvin said okay, but asked if he could still have "crazy parties." "Of course," I said. "I'm counting on you for that. You just have to clean up after."
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Turkey From Albuqueque
Busy day. Money making interview, Turkey Trot, and the Tday play. Good product but not sure how it's going to be lucrative. Turkey Trot was a riot with all the kids running around. Calvin did pretty good. Needs real sneakers though. And the play was cute. I couldn't see any of the kids but The Hulk was with me and he behaved and that's all that matters. Not mentally ready for the next 5 days.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Moving Mirror
Alex fell down the stairs yesterday morning and broke his right wrist. Fortunately it wasn't too bad and he'll be out of his cast in 4 weeks. When we got home from the hospital he asked if he could have "falldown medicine that's in the moving mirror." Translation: Advil in the medicine cabinet. Love that boy.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Time to End Boys will be Boys
My best friend's son is the same age as Calvin and they play together on occasion. They're in different schools so they don't see each other too often. A few weeks ago Calvin stayed with him for the weekend in their 2nd home up north. The other boy also had some boy cousins visiting. I think they were older. When I saw Calvin on Sunday Monday morning (I too was away for the weekend) his face was all scratched and he looked very tired. He said the friend kept wrestling with him and it wasn't much fun.
When I asked yesterday if he'd like to go back up North and we could all visit the family this weekend he said no, he doesn't want to play with the boy anymore. "Maybe the boy could come over to our house?" he asked. "He behaves better when he's here."
Perhaps it's time to finally tell my friend what's been on my mind for years, that her son is out of control, has no boundaries, and is far too aggressive with my boy. Or, when I tell her we won't be coming up this weekend, I'll just tell the truth and say that Calvin doesn't want to and take it from there. Or more than likely I'll wimp out and not say anything about the boys at all. How awkward is this?
When I asked yesterday if he'd like to go back up North and we could all visit the family this weekend he said no, he doesn't want to play with the boy anymore. "Maybe the boy could come over to our house?" he asked. "He behaves better when he's here."
Perhaps it's time to finally tell my friend what's been on my mind for years, that her son is out of control, has no boundaries, and is far too aggressive with my boy. Or, when I tell her we won't be coming up this weekend, I'll just tell the truth and say that Calvin doesn't want to and take it from there. Or more than likely I'll wimp out and not say anything about the boys at all. How awkward is this?
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